Prisoner of Azkaban from Remus' Point of View
by Russet022
Summary: On Hiatus, due to lack of enthusiasm in the wake of Deathly Hallows. This story closely follows the plot of Azkaban, but with Remus' thoughts, feelings, and actions.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Owl Post

Remus Lupin sat at the desk in his tiny flat, going through the _Daily Prophet_ in search of a job. He had recently lost his last job, once again, to the fact that he was a registered werewolf. He sighed and glanced out the window, certain that there was no one advertising in the _Prophet_ that would want to hire him. It was still too soon after his condition was last found out.

He was about to return to the newspaper when movement caught his eye. Remus looked more closely and jumped up to open the window as his owl soared in. He sighed again, thinking, _Just another bill I'll have to scrape up money for._ He took the envelope, turned it over and dropped it. The Hogwarts crest grinned up at him from the wax sealing the letter closed.

_I must be dreaming,_ Remus thought. _What could Hogwarts want with me? I graduated sixteen long years ago. They couldn't possibly want anything from me._ But the werewolf had to believe that he was not dreaming, because he was on his feet, and his owl, Stardom, was staring at him with unblinking eyes, expecting praise for delivering the letter. Stardom, at least, saw nothing out of the ordinary.

Slowly, Remus bent to pick up the fallen envelope and opened it with shaking hands. His heart was beating very fast. It had been a long time since he had heard anything from Dumbledore. _If this is even from Dumbledore,_ Remus thought, determined not to get his hopes up. He unfolded the parchment and read it, trying to restrain the rising excitement and wild hope that was filling him.

_Dear Mr. Lupin,_

_Upon receiving word of your recent unemployment, I immediately decided to write. Once again, I have found myself short a staff member and would like to offer the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher to you. I have not forgotten your condition, as I believe that itis the regretful reason for your loss of work. I have spoken to the staff, and although some members have voiced slight objections, I am certain that it is nothing that cannot be overcome. _

_I have also spoken to an old classmate of yours who works here. He is the Potions master, and more than capable of providing you with Wolfsbane every month. Though I know there was a certain enmity between your friends and his, I hope that time may have healed some old grievances, and that the two of you will be able to at least tolerate each other's presence. That said, the Shrieking Shack is always open as an option as well._

_I hope you will seriously consider my offer. Payment will be discussed with your application. Please reply soon, but not hastily. I understand that you have always had a love of teaching, but that you are also well aware of certain, ah, limitations. Please do not let that stop you, though I will understand if you are not comfortable with the position. _

_My thanks,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

_P.S. Do not let this sway you, but I would hate to have to come up with another candidate for the post. I do not wish to make light of a serious situation, but I am most glad that you are available to take my offer. I was starting to worry about not finding anyone qualified to teach. Thank you again._

But could he accept, knowing that if he was not careful he could end up killing, or worse, only mauling a student? He could not force his fate on anyone else. He would not be able to live with that. _Well, of course not. The Ministry would kill you anyway, since they don't normally send werewolves to Azkaban._ Remus sighed. He would have to think about this. But the hope that had filled him at the second line of the letter would not leave him. Remus found that he could not concentrate on the _Prophet_ anymore. He began to pace, objections and counter-objections turning over and over in his mind. Finally, Remus gave up and collapsed into bed, but it took him a long time to fall asleep.

Remus intended to reply to Dumbledore the next day, but the arrival of the _Daily Prophet _distracted him. Glaring up from the first page was a skull-like face, with long, tangled hair and dark, bright eyes. The headline read, **Black Still At Large**. The article started:

_Sirius Black, possibly the most infamous prisonerever to be held in Azkaban fortress, is still eluding capture, the Ministry of Magic confirmed today…_

Remus winced. He had been trying so hard not to think about his old friend, Sirius Black. He could hardly call Black a friend anymore, not after Black betrayed his best friends, including Remus. Why, why had Sirius escaped now? And how had he done so?

Remus got a sick feeling every time he asked himself that last question. He had a very good idea as to how Sirius had got out, and if he was right… Well, twisted the right way, one could say it was Remus' fault. And the last thing Remus needed was for the world to know that Black was an illegal Animagus because he had befriended a werewolf and had wanted to help him. He was already getting enough looks in the street as it was, because rumor had it that he had been a friend of Black. He was tired of the whispers, the glances.

That was it. None of the students at Hogwarts would know, they wouldn't find out. _What about the teachers?_ His mind asked. He could deal with the teachers as the need arose. Dumbledore trusted him. If that wasn't enough for them, he did not know what was. And so his thoughts came full circle. But this time his mind was made up. He would write to Dumbledore and tell the headmaster that he would take the job.

About a week later, Remus received Dumbledore's reply. The headmaster would be delighted to have Remus teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. Remus would arrive at the school the day before to get settled in his rooms and to meet the other teachers, some for the first time since graduating.

The month until Remus was to start teaching passed slowly. He did not expect another letter from Dumbledore, but a few days before he headed to Hogwarts he received a note.

_Remus,_

_I am sorry to bother you, but I would appreciate it if you could arrive at Hogwarts by the train. The dementors will be searching it for Sirius Black, and I want an adult other than the driver to be there, just in case. The Ministry claims that Black is after Harry Potter, no doubt you have heard the rumors. If Black were to get on the train… Please, if it does not inconvenience you too much I would like you to take the Hogwarts Express. I will see you at the feast. Thank you, and take care._

_Albus Dumbledore_

Remus replied that he would take the train. He had heard the rumors, and if Black really was after Harry, Remus hoped to do everything in his power to thwart Black. The first day of school would be the likeliest time for Black to strike, before Harry was actually under Dumbledore's watchful eye. If Remus was going to protect Harry, that was as good a time to start as any.


	2. Chapter 2

Remus arrived at Platform 9 ¾ very early. He wanted to make sure he had a seat; as he moved along the platform and onto the train, memories of his first train ride to school overpowered him. He had spent the time in a corner, avoiding the exuberance of the other two boys in the compartment, two boys who were to become his best friends. He remembered the mad rush for seats, how you had to band together to get a compartment. Well, he was the only adult and no student was going to willingly sit with him. Remus felt it best to not arrive in the thick of things.

The new teacher settled himself in the corner of the last compartment next to the window. He pulled out a book and read, keeping an eye on the time. Students trickled in, faster and faster until a flood of wizarding children stood on the platform, making enough noise to drown out a thunderstorm. Remus found it impossible to read. His head began to throb, so he closed his eyes. He had not intended to fall asleep.

Remus was woken by a sudden motion as the train rounded a bend and picked up speed. He kept his eyes closed, hoping to fall asleep before anyone joined him in the compartment. His headache was worse, and he did not feel like socializing. _Not that any student would want to talk to a new teacher, a complete unknown. Not unless they were hoping to get on my good side and avoid detention. _

Remus' thoughts were brought abruptly to the train as he heard a whispered, "Who d'you reckon he is?" It was a boy speaking.

"Professor R. J. Lupin," a girl stated at once.

Remus wondered how she had known, a thought echoed by the boy.

"It's on his case," she replied. _Of course,_ Remus thought. His name was on his battered suitcase, testimony to his last teaching job in a muggle library three years ago. He did not mean to eavesdrop.

"Well, I hope he's up to it," the boy continued a conversation Remus had partly missed while wondering if he could avoid listening. "He looks like one good hex would finish him off, doesn't he? Anyway…"

Remus was slightly offended by that, but then he realized that with the full moon only two days past, he must look awfully sick. He was jolted from this line of thought as a second boy's voice mention Sirius Black. Remus winced inwardly as he realized the boy speaking must be Harry Potter.

Time passed. And then a piercing whistle sounded that echoed in Remus' sore head. He very nearly forced himself to pretend to wake up, if only to stop the noise. Before he could do that, however, the first boy pulled something from Harry's trunk and told the girl that it was a Sneakoscope. Remus sighed, waiting for them to make it quiet.

After what seemed ages, but was probably more like a minute, Harry said, "Stick it back in the trunk, or it'll wake him up."

Remus realized that Harry was talking about him, and was highly grateful as the noise was deadened. They children began to talk about Hogsmeade and Remus was lost in memories. He remembered hours spent poring over the wide selection of candy in Honeydukes, trying to choose just one. Sirius always insisted on buying a little bit of each. He also remembered whole afternoons spent trying to get as much as possible for as little as possible at Zonko's Joke Shop, which was James' favorite store. He remembered drinking butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks, watching the world go by.

Somewhere in the middle of his happy, miserable reverie, Remus caught the first boy's name, exclaimed in indignation, "Ron! I don't think Harry should be sneaking out of school with Black on the loose—" the girl was cut off.

_And it all comes round to Black again_. Remus mentally sighed. As the girl began to talk again, he opened his eyes slightly. As he had thought, Harry looked exactly like his father. But Remus' attention was diverted as Ron said, "Don't let that thing out!" A second later a large ginger cat slipped out of a wicker basket on the seat next to the girl. It sounded as if Ron did not get along with the cat, and he and the girl were on the way to a full-blown argument when Remus moved. It was slight, he just turned his head away and continued to pretend to sleep. But it was enough to remind the three of his presence, and they quieted down. For a time, Remus did not need to pretend to sleep.

He was woken by Ron's voice. "Do you think we should wake him up? He looks like he could do with some food."

_I could, but I don't think I will have anything, thanks. I still haven't got my appetite back._ Remus stayed silent as the girl approached.

"Er—Professor? Excuse me—Professor?"

_Sorry, I don't want anything. I wish I knew your name. _But he said nothing out loud. He knew that he wouldn't be very sociable with this head-ache.

"I suppose he _is_ asleep? I mean—he hasn't died, has he?" Ron asked quietly.

Remus laughed inwardly as the girl replied, "No, no, he's breathing." This statement rather amused Remus, because the first full moon after his friends found out he was a werewolf, he had woken to the sound their voices. "But, Madam Pomfrey," they had asked, "he is alive?" the nurse had responded, "Well, he's breathing, isn't he?"

_Today is a day of memories. I wonder what tomorrow will bring?_ But of course, today wasn't finished yet. Three other boys walked in as it started to rain, and a fight may well have started, but Remus, who was in no mood to listen to the noise of a fight, gave a slight snort as the cat's basket fell to the floor. Unnerved by the presence of a teacher, the three intruders left.

The afternoon seemed to last an eternity. Remus had once again fallen asleep, when the train started to slow down. The girl stated that they could not be at Hogwarts yet, but Remus could think of no good reason for the train to be slowing. And then he remembered Dumbledore's letter. _Oh, no. Not dementors._

Another boy, Neville, entered the compartment soon after the lights went out and the train came to a halt. And then, he finally learned the girl's name as she collided with another girl, Ginny. Hermione allowed Ginny into the compartment, but there was such a racket what with the five children in confusion that Remus could hardly hear anything.

"Quiet," he said. His voice was hoarse from disuse; he had not said a word since before eleven o'clock that morning. He murmured a spell that allowed him to hold light. But just as he stood to investigate, the door to the compartment slid open.

A towering dementor stood framed by the doorway. It took a slow, rattling breath, and Remus shivered as the cold penetrated the whole room. He could feel it sinking into his bones as memories of the day he was bitten, memories of transformations, andthe day after his friends had died vied for prominence in his mind. But he had to stay calm, and sane. He took a deep breath as he heard someone collapse behind him.

"None of us is hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks. Go." But the dementor did not move. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to find a happy memory. He pushed aside the crowd of dismal memories and settled on James and Lily's wedding. It was one of the last times they had all been together and happy, with no worries. "_Expecto patronum,"_ he muttered, and his wolf-like Patronus flung itself at the dementor. It turned and glided away.

Remus wanted to just collapse and try to hide the dark memories that had been stirred up, but instead he turned steadily to check on the children. Hermione and Ron were bringing Harry around. While the others worried about Harry's having heard screaming, Remus was not surprised. He pulled a bar of chocolate from his pocket and began to break it into pieces.

Remus handed a large portion to Harry and said, "Here. Eat it. It'll help."

Harry looked at him and asked, "What was that thing?"

"A dementor," Remus returned. "One of the dementors of Azkaban." They all stared at him. "Eat. It'll help. I need to speak with the driver, excuse me…"

Remus left the uncomfortable silence of the compartment for theemptiness of the hallway. He ate the last bit of chocolate himself as he headed toward the front of the train. He could get more chocolate up there, for one. He also needed to let Professor McGonagall know that Harry had reacted poorly to the presence of the dementors. But Remus had expected that. With a history like Harry's… Remus had had to work awfully hard to resist the dementors himself, and Harry had no experience…

The driver willingly lent Remus an owl. He scribbled a quick note to McGonagall.

_Professor,_

_We'll be at Hogwarts in about ten minutes. I just thought I ought to let you know that the dementors have searched the train, and that Harry collapsed. I think he's all right but, well, I expected his reaction to be worse. Thanks,_

_Remus Lupin_

He automatically signed his full name on it, as though he were back in school. He looked at it, shook his head, and sent it off. Remus set off toward the last compartment of the train, eating a chocolate frog. When he entered the compartment, the five fell silent. He looked around and realized that no one had eaten the chocolate.

"I haven't poisoned that chocolate, you know… We'll be at Hogwarts in ten minutes. Are you all right, Harry?"

No one said anything for the rest of the train ride, which was mercifully short.

A/N—I realize that this ends very abruptly, but it is only part one of this chapter. The other part is the feast, and Remus meeting an old school 'friend' of his. I also realize that I forgot a disclaimer. So here goes. I do not own any of these characters. The plot is basically Ms. Rowling's, since I am just taking a very good work that I love, and putting it into a different perspective. Therefore, a lot of the dialogue is in the book. I do not claim any quotes that are in the book as my own. I just really like them, a lot. Also, I don't know if anyone has ever said what shape Remus' Patronus takes, so since they are supposed to be somehow significant to the person, I figured it would be wolf-like. Being a werewolf is a major part of who Remus is, whether he wanted it or not.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- There are some references to the Order, Death Eaters, and Slughorn that are only mentioned in later books, but Remus would already know about them. They are part of his past. The duel between Severus, Sirius, and Remus is somethingI made up, as is Professor Kettleburn's fate. I have a whole back story planned, and that is where some of this stuff is coming from. Forgive me if it doesn't quite fit cannon. I'm trying.

Chapter Two- Continued

Remus stepped off the train and headed for one of the last carriages. As he sat waiting for the carriage to move, he watched the commotion on the platform. Hagrid called the first years andRemus sighed.He would never forget the boat ride to the castle and the first night of his new life as a student. It had been the beginning of the seven years in which he could be free of the prejudice people would invariably show toward him.

No one joined him in the carriage, and soon enough it moved up the road and through the gates. Once again he felt the cold of the dementors, and without looking, he knew that they flanked the open gates, looking for Black. Minutes later, the carriage stopped and he got out. A loud voice greeted his ears.

"Did you faint as well, Weasley? Did the scary old dementor frighten you too, Weasley?"

The voice belonged to a pale boy with blonde hair and cold, grey eyes. The boy was blocking Harry, Ron, and Hermione's path up the stairs. Remus sighed. This must be Malfoy, the ring-leader of the three intruders to the compartment earlier in the day. Remus sighed. Once again, he chose to avert a fight.

"Is there a problem?" he asked mildly. Malfoy stared at him, his eyes traveling over the shabby state of Remus' appearance.

"Oh, no—er—_Professor_." Neither the smirk on the boy's face nor the sarcasm in his voice was lost on Remus, who shook his head as he entered Hogwarts castle for the first time since he had graduated.

_That boy is going to be a nightmare to teach,_ Remus thought. But his attention was diverted by the sight that met his eyes on entering the Great Hall. He had blended into the crowd easily enough, but he quickly moved off toward the staff table, feeling uncomfortable. He was the only one in the whole crowdwho did not have anyone to talk to. Suddenly, he paused, staring at the one person he had thought to never see again.

Severus Snape, former Slytherin student and arch-nemesis to Remus' best friends, was sitting at the staff table, looking completely at ease. He actually seemed rather bored, and as his gaze swept the crowded hall, it seemed his eyes paused for a moment as they passed over Remus. Severus' lip curled when he made eye contact with Remus, as if he had seen something unpleasant, and then let his gaze move on. A moment later, Remus thought he had imagined it. He realized that he was blocking traffic, and hurried up to the staff table, followed by a few curious eyes.

Dumbledore smiled and pointed Remus to a seat. Remus took it, grateful that he was no where near Severus. When most of the hall was full and all the students seated, Flitwick led the first years in. _What's happened to McGonagall? She always used to supervise the Sortings. _There were two empty chairs at the table, one was Flitwick's, the other must be McGonagall's. Remus shrugged inwardly and watched the Sorting with interest.

As Flitwick left the hall with the Sorting Hat, Harry and Hermione entered with Professor McGonagall. _How odd_, Remus thought, but he figured it had something to do with the letter he sent after the dementors searched the train. McGonagall smiled at him as she sat down.

Dumbledore stood up and began his welcome back speech soon after. He spoke about the stationing of dementors at the school, of which Remus already knew. So he sat lost in thought until he heard Dumbledore say,

"I am pleased to welcome two new teachers to our ranks this year. First, Professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher." Remus smiled at the scattered applause. He was pleased to see that all those who had been in the compartment with him clapped harder than everyone else. He had not expected a warm welcome; after all, Hogwarts had hired a new Defense teacher every year since no one knew when.

Dumbledore continued, "As to our second new appointment, well, I am sorry to say that Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher, retired at the end of last year in order to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs." Remus laughed slightly, Professor Kettleburn had made a standard joke of the fact that he had lost an arm to a rampant manticore to make his students more comfortable with the fact. Remus wondered what else his former Professor had lost, and he was sorry that Kettleburn was no longer there; Remus had been looking forward to seeing him again.

Thunderous applause broke into Remus' musings. Apparently, Hagrid was to be the next Care of Magical Creatures teacher. And then the feast began.

Sometime during the feast, Remus received the message that the teachers were meeting in the staffroom after the feast. Remus was content to just listen to the talk around him as he ate; he had only recently found his appetite after the last full moon. As the Great Hall began to empty he stood up and made his way to the staffroom.

Remus stood to the side of the room, not completely comfortable in a room surrounded by people who were his former professors. And whatever his friends may have felt, Remus had always had great respect for his teachers. McGonagall tried to draw him into conversation, but Remus only smiled politely and listened as she explained the basic rules for teaching.

Remus thanked her for telling him, and she smiled.

"Really, Remus, you could call me Minerva now."

"Yes, I suppose, Professor—Minerva." He shook his head, flustered.

Minerva laughed. "I must say, I have never been called 'Professor Minerva' in my whole life." Remus had to laugh as well, which was, of course, McGonagall's intent.

Dumbledore arrived shortly after, and sent the teachers off to bed, though not in those exact words. He asked Remus and Severus to stay a moment later, though. The two former enemies had been avoiding each other all evening. The look of loathing on Severus' face was barely concealed, though Remus could not blame the other man. Remus also felt anger welling up inside himself, but years ofnot showinghis anger allowed him to hide it.

Dumbledore spoke. "I hope that you two will try to be civil. Your last meeting, I know, was not exactly friendly."

That was putting it lightly. The last time the two had met had been in a duel between members of the Order and Death Eaters. Though Severus was supposed to be on the Order's side, he had been fighting Sirius. When Remus stepped into helphis friend, Severus had broken off, which had fueled Sirius' belief that Remus was a Death Eater. Remus had attacked Severus, and both had been in the hospital for quite a few days.

"Severus," Dumbledore said to Remus, "has consented to make the Wolfsbane Potion for you."

"Thank you," Remus said quietly, afraid to meet Severus' eyes, and afraid not to. He did not want to sound insincere, for he did mean it, but he did not want to see the hatred in Snape's eyes either. The Potions Master made no reply.

"Well," Dumbledore said, breaking the silence. "You may go. Classes do start tomorrow; I trust Minerva gave you your schedules?"

Both Remus and Severus nodded, made their good nights, and left together. They did not speak until Remus realized that he did not know where his rooms were.

"Forgive me, but do you know where my rooms are?" Remus asked hesitantly.

Severus looked at him coldly. "Why didn't you think to ask anyone else?" He sighed, and before Remus could answer, continued, "The rooms arein your office. There is a concealed door in the back of the room. It should be keyed to your touch after tonight. I believe that the one in the Defense office is next to the portrait on the wall to the left when you enter."

"Thank you," Remus said again, but said no more as the Potions Master walked away. _Great. Of all the people to take old Slughorn's place, it had to be him. What was I thinking, coming back? All I have met today is my past. And I am not ready to face it. But I don't have any choice now._

He was so lost in thought that he did as Snape said and went to the wall on the left. Nothing happened. Remus blinked and looked up to notice that the portrait in the room was on the right. _Git,_ Remus thought calmly. _And that portrait has got to go. I wonder if Severus picked it_?

The picture was indeed ugly; it looked like a painting of a troll, though the title of the piece claimed that it was a member of the Ministry from long ago. Remus found the flowered wallpaper in the rooms repulsive as well, and assumed that an old woman had had these rooms before him. Maybe the Ministry official in the painting had been her grandfather. He laughed at the image of a wrinkled, grey woman sitting in the room chatting with the portrait and promised to change the decorations the next day.

He fell into bed after dragging on pajamas, and was asleep in minutes.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I reiterate: I am using some lines from the book. They belong to Ms. Rowling. I really didn't want to have to rewrite Remus' whole lecture, Rowling did it so well the first time. : )

Chapter Three- The Boggart in the Wardrobe

Remus hurried out of the staffroom after lunch on Thursday. He was going to be late for his next class. He couldn't believe that he had forgotten the time. _But then,_ he thought, _is it really so surprising?_ _What with all the running around I've been doing, reworking schedules, and …_

His thoughts trailed off before he could run through the long checklist he had made of everything he had needed to do. He was almost finished with it; he shouldn't have to worry now. He should have remembered that the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher had changed every year for quite some time. Because of this he had had to rewrite his entire schedule for each class to suit what they had actually learned, not what thecourse requirements claimed they had learned. The scramble following the revelation that his classes knew less than he thought had produced a boggart, as well as a couple other little improvisations that he was rather proud of.

_I guess my friends didn't call me 'Professor Moony" for nothing, _Remus thought with a wry smile. He was getting close to his classroom, so he slowed his rush to a walk. As Remus turned the corner, he nearly knocked someone over. He reached out to steady whoever it was, but his help was brushed off.

"A little late, aren't you, Lupin?" Severus asked in a silky voice.

"Only a little," Remus returned pleasantly. He tried to step around the Potions professor, but Snape blocked him. "Excuse me, Severus."

"I thought you said you were 'only a little' late," he sneered.

"I'd rather not be late at all," Remus replied with forced patience.

"I'm sorry I can't help with that." But he didn't look sorry at all. "You said you were going to get rid of that boggart, Lupin. When will you be doing that?"

"This period. If you'll excuse me?" Remus pushed past Severus and entered the classroom. He smiled vaguely at the class as he moved toward his desk, trying to figure out what Severus had accomplished in delaying him. He finally gave up, thinking, _It's not my problem. I have to concentrate on this class now. Come on, Remus, what are you worrying about him for? You never did before._

He took a deep breath and turned to face the class. "Good afternoon." He noticed that all the students had their books out. _I really was very late, wasn't I,_ he thought before saying, "Would you please put all your books back in your bags. Today's will be a practical lesson. You will need only your wands." _There,_ he told himself, _not a bad start._

Once everyone was ready, Remus said, "Right then. If you'd follow me." He led them towards the staffroom. _It's like ducklings following their mother around in a perfectly straight line. I can't believe that we all used to be so afraid of the teachers that we would do that. It could get rather annoying._

He thought that maybe he should be planning what he was going to say when he turned a corner and he saw Peeves the Poltergeist floating upside down and shoving chewing gum into the keyhole of a broom cupboard. Remus was going to walk right past, but he froze as Peeves looked up and broke into song.

"Loony, loopy Lupin, loony, loopy Lupin…"

_So much for thinking he would have forgotten that song, _Remus sighed. He smiled slightly, remembering how James and Sirius had made such a joke of it; they had called him 'Loony Moony' for weeks after they first heard Peeves. The class seemed surprised that he was smiling.

"I'd take that gum out of the keyhole if I were you, Peeves," he said, keeping his voice reasonable. "Mr. Filch won't be able to get in to his brooms." _Might as well be polite now that I'm a teacher,_ he thought. The Marauders had been Filch's worst nightmare while they were at school.

Peeves blew a loud raspberry in his direction. _Some things never change._

"This is a useful little spell," he told the class. "Please watch closely." He raised his wand to shoulder height, said, "Waddiwasi," and pointed it at Peeves. He smirked to himself; it really had always been a useful spell for placing things where they didn't belong. The gum flew out of the keyhole and down Peeves' nostril. The Poltergeist cursed as he zoomed away.

"Cool, sir," one of the boys, Dean Thomas, said.

Remus thanked him, then added to the rest of the third year class, "Shall we proceed?" He could feel their eyes on his back as they watched him; he wondered what they were thinking.

Thankfully, they had reached the staffroom. He opened the door and stood back to let them inside. As he followed them, about to close the door, he noticed that not all the old, mismatched chairs in the paneled room were empty. Severus happened to be sitting in one of them. _Oh, not again. Why did I have to tell him I was going to be in here today?_

"Leave it open, Lupin. I'd rather not witness this," Snape said. It took Remus a second to realize that Severus meant the door. He watched Snape leave, _and good riddance,_ he thought,_ the last thing I need is him criticizing my teaching._

Snape turned at the door and said nastily, "Possibly no one's warned you, Lupin, but this class contains Neville Longbottom. I would advise you not to entrust him with anything difficult. Not unless Miss Granger is hissing instructions in his ear."

Remus stared at Snape. _How am I supposed to respond to that?_ He asked himself. _I know who Neville is; he looks just like his mother. What could Severus have against him? And what does Hermione have to do with this?_ A sudden thought came to him as he caught sight of Neville's face. Remus raised his eyebrows.

"I was hoping Neville would assist me with the first stage of the operation," he said, "and I am sure he will perform it admirably." _And I prove myself wrong again. I thought that I couldn't improvise to save my life. _

Neville's blush deepened, and Remus winced. He hadn't wanted to put anyone on the spot. Snape left with a smirk.

"Now, then," Remus said, regaining the class' attention and beckoning them toward the wardrobe at the far end of the room. He moved next to it, and it wobbled. "Nothing to worry about," he said calmly as some of the students backed away, alarmed. "There's a boggart in there." _Then again, boggarts are rather scary if you don't know how to deal with them, _he added to himself.

He began to explain what boggarts were. "They like dark, enclosed spaces," he told the class. "Wardrobes, the gap beneath beds," _this is why muggle children believe monsters live under their beds,_ he thought, "the cupboards under sinks—I've even met one that had lodged itself in a grandfather clock," he continued out loud. He said something about this particular boggart and their class; he never remembered this part of the speech.

"So, the first question we must ask ourselves is, what is a boggart?"

Remus called on Hermione as her hand shot up in the air. "It's a shape-shifter. It can take the shape of whatever it thinks will frighten us most."

Remus nodded. "Couldn't have put it better myself." He then explained that no one knew what a boggart looked like, until it assumed the shape of a person's worst fear. "This means," he said, "that we have a huge advantage over the boggart before we begin. Have you spotted it, Harry?" Remus figured that if Harry answered the question,Remus wouldhave some excuse for not letting him fight the boggart. _I mean, I can't really have Lord Voldemort appearing in the staffroom, even if it is just a boggart. Just an image of him would be creepy, especially since so many people lost so much to him…_

Harry was answering the question. "Er—because there are so many of us, it won't know what shape it should be?"

"Precisely." He elaborated slightly, and then told them that "The charm that repels a boggart is simple, but it requires force of mind. You see, the thing that really finishes a boggart is laughter. What you need to do is force it to assume a shape that you find amusing." _Anything can make it amusing, of course, _he thought. _And that requires imagination, which is rather difficult when you're scared stiff,_ _but why make this more complicated than it already is?_

"We will practice the charm without wands first. After me, please… _riddikulus_." The class repeated him.

"Very good," he said kindly. "But that was the easy part, I'm afraid. You see, the word alone is not enough." Remus winced inwardly as he realized that he had just repeated himself. _Since when do I say 'you see' anyway?_

"And this is where you come in, Neville," he said out loud, in accordance with what he had said to Snape. He hoped he wasn't setting the boy up for even more embarrassment.

"Right, Neville," he said trying to sound encouraging. "First things first: what would you say is the thing that frightens you most in the world?"

Neville spoke in something less than a whisper.

"Didn't catch that Neville, sorry," he said, sounding more cheerful than he meant to. _He sounds like I did, embarrassed to admit I was afraid of the full moon, afraid someone would think to ask why… but that doesn't matter today._

"Professor Snape," Neville said, this time in just more than a whisper. Everyone laughed. Even Neville seemed tofeel the sort of embarrassment that made you laugh rather than cry.

Remus thought for a moment, then said, "Neville, I believe you live with your grandmother?"

"Yes, but I don't want the boggart to turn into her either."

"No, I was just wondering if you could picture the clothes she normally wears," Remus said with a smile. _This is better than I thought. But Severus will never let me hear the end of this if it works._

"Yes," Neville said uncertainly. He described some very old-fashioned clothes, things that Remus' grandmother had worn.

Remus smiled. "When I let the boggart out of the wardrobe, Neville, it will see you, and take the shape of Professor Snape. You will point your wand at it, say _riddikulus_, and concentrate on your grandmother's clothes. If all goes well, Professor Boggart Snape will be forced into that vulture-topped hat, that green dress, and with that red handbag." Remus had to laugh with everyone else. When they had quieted he said, "After Neville faces the boggart, I will call the next person forward. Please take a moment now to think of what frightens you most, and imagine how you might force it to look comical…"

Remus knew exactly what hewas afraid of, and so he let his mind wander. He ignored the students' mutterings. When most of them had gone silent, he asked if everyone was ready. They were. He had everyone back away so that the boggart wouldn't become confused, then let the boggart out on the count of three. Snape emerged from the wardrobe, looking the same as he had earlier that day. Neville backed away, he seemed to have forgotten what he was supposed to do, but then he squeaked, "_Riddikulus._"

Snape was dressed in a lacy green gown with a tall, black witch's hat that sported a moth-eaten vulture and a bright red handbag. The boggart paused as the class laughed, and Remus called Parvati forward.

She caused her mummy to trip on its own bandages, and its head fell off as it hit the floor.

"Seamus," Remus shouted. Seamus removed the wailing banshee's voice. Another few people took on the boggart. It became a rat, which chased its tail, _just like Peter did when he was bored on the full moon_, Remus thought with a slight smirk. _He used to run himself dizzy and Sirius would laugh so hard…_ The boggart became a rattlesnake, a bloody eyeball…

"It's confused!" Remus shouted. "We're getting there. Dean!"

Dean caught a crawling, severed hand in a mousetrap.

"Ron, you next!" Remus winced as a few people screamed. The boggart had become a giant spider, an acromantula. Ron didn't move; he seemed as frozen as Neville had been, and then, Ron took its legs off. The boggart rolled away to land at Harry's feet. Remus swore to himself, he should have prepared for this.

"Here!" he shouted. Remus moved forward and the boggart appeared as the full moon in front of him. Praying that no one would recognize the silver orb as the moon he said "_Riddikulus_" and focused on the first image that came to his mind. For some odd reason, the boggart hit the ground as a cockroach. _Where the heck did that come from?_ Remus asked himself. _A cockroach? I must be getting depressed, if that's amusing. Though I was chasing some last full moon. It was rather entertaining, actually._

"Forward, Neville, and finish him off!" Remus shouted, stepping back and shaking his head. Snape reappeared, and Neville moved forward. This time he was determined. There was a split second when Snape stood in the lacy dress, before Neville laughed and the boggart exploded into tiny wisps of smoke and vanished.

"Excellent. Well done." Remus sighed. "Let me see… five points to Gryffindor for every person who tackled the boggart, ten for Neville because he did it twice, and five each to Hermione and Harry."

"But I didn't do anything," Harry complained.

"You answered my questions at the start of class, Harry," Remus said lightly. But he had a feeling that Harry knew he had stopped him from taking on the boggart. He assigned them their homework and dismissed the class. They left, chattering. Once they were gone, Remus collapsed into a chair and placed his head in his hands.

_One more day. One more day, and I'll have survived my first week. It can only get better from here._ He stood up and headed back to his office to prepare a lecture for a first year class. Maybe he wouldbegin by telling them what the Dark Arts were, the point of the class. That was always a good place to start.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Four- Flight of the Fat Lady

A month had passed and Remus had settled into his new routine quite nicely. Though he was still plagued with memories, it was becoming easier to deal with them.

Most of the teachers had stopped complaining about the fact that Dumbledore had hired a werewolf. Remus suspected this had something to do with the fact that McGonagall had made a point to talk to him; she had become a friend.

Unfortunately, Severus was still awful to Remus, who had expected it, but found no pleasure in the man's taunts and insinuations. Snape believed Remus could not be trusted; Remus could not blame Snape, after what Sirius had done… _but that was a long time ago. Why does he still care?_ It was a question that he would probably never know the answer to.

The whole thing with Neville's boggart had only exacerbated Severus' hatred. He was still bullying Neville, which Remus felt awful about. But he was trying not to hate Snape because the Potions master had made the Wolfsbane Potion for him, and he had not had such an easy transformation since before his friends had died.

In fact, it was about time for him to start taking the potion again. He wondered if Severus was making it out of choice or because Dumbledore had asked him. Remus suspected the latter. He knew he had not shown enough gratitude to Snape, but it was hard to thank a person who did not want to be thanked. And the potion was disgusting. _What does that matter if it helps?_ he thought irritably. But it made it difficult to thank Snape for it.

His students, however, had actually missed him the last full moon. He had had to take a day off, which he had protested, but there was no choice in the matter. He had been too tired to sit, let alone stand and teach. He was pleased that most of the students enjoyed his classes. Only the Slytherins, led by that Draco Malfoy, disliked him. _Well, I saw that one coming_, he thought to himself over and over, knowing that it was a huge achievement that most of the students liked him. But Remus had a need to be liked. Even though he tried to ignore that need, telling himself that no one could be liked by everybody, he couldn't help but wonder if they would all one day find out what he was and hate him for it.

---

Remus sat at his desk about a week before the full moon, staring at the massive pile of essays he needed to grade before Halloween. He wasn't planning on going into Hogsmeade; he really had no reason to go, but he knew that if he finished them he would have less to do after the full moon.

He was interrupted by a knock on the open door. He looked up and smiled at McGonagall.

"Do you mind if I come in?" she asked.

Remus shook his head. Any distraction was welcome. _When did I become such a procrastinator?_ he asked as he gave himself a mental shrug.

McGonagall closed the door behind her and sat. She was quiet for a moment, and then said, "I haven't seen you in the staffroom lately, Remus. What have you been up to?"

"Grading essays," he replied. "I used to think that teachers assigned essays to waste students' time. Now I realize that they do it to waste their own time." They both chuckled.

A moment later she looked slightly worried. "Potter seems a bit depressed. Have you noticed anything?"

"He hasn't said anything, not that I would expect it; but he has been awfully quiet," Remus replied thoughtfully.

"Did I tell you that Sibyll Trelawney predicted Potter's death in the tea leaves this year?" McGonagall asked Remus with a slight twist to her smile.

"No, you simply told me that she likes to predict students' deaths and that I shouldn't worry if anyone mentioned it." Remus said.

"Well, it's Potter this year," McGonagall repeated. "And what with that whole thing with Black… I'm sure you've heard about that, Remus."

His face closed. "Yes, I had heard." He looked at McGonagall, concerned. "But I didn't think Harry knew about that."

"I just wonder if he might put it together if she keeps going on about it," McGonagall said worriedly. "But he might just be upset because his aunt and uncle didn't sign his permission form."

"What?" Remus asked sharply. "He can't go to Hogsmeade?"

"No, I'm afraid not," McGonagall replied, eyes narrowed suspiciously. "He asked me for permission, and I said I couldn't give it to him. What with Black… I think it might be better this way."

Remus sighed and shook his head. "Then that's why he's upset."

McGonagall gave Remus a questioning look.

"The whole of third year is talking about this trip into Hogsmeade, and Harry's the only one who can't go. Of course he'd be upset by that. But I agree it might be for the best, with Black and all…"

McGonagall nodded. "Well then, if you're sure that that's it, I'll leave you to your essays."

"Oh, thank you. I've just been waiting to hear you say that," Remus told her with mock cheer.

She grinned. "If you need a break from whatever the topic is come find me. I've been meaning to ask you if you remember how James managed to explode that Shrinking Solution in your third year."

"Ah, yes." Remus' eyes glittered mischievously. "That was a highly guarded secret that was." He shook his head as he smiled. "I'll talk to you later Prof—Minerva."

She nodded and left him to his papers. He found it harder to concentrate, however. Every time Black was mentioned, even by Dumbledore, Remus couldn't help but wonder if they suspected him. But he was being unfair. Dumbledore wouldn't have hired him if he didn't trust him. _Just get on with it, Moony,_ he thought to himself. _Only Severus has outright accused you. As long as no one else says it out loud you can't suspect them. Just give them a chance and get over it. Why do you worry so much?_

But he knew he worried because right after Sirius had betrayed everyone he had been branded by association. He wasn't eager to repeat the experience. And, to be honest, he didn't quite trust himself to hate Sirius if they met. Yes, Sirius had betrayed them all, but Remus had forgiven him for that prank sixth year. He could have killed Snape because of Sirius, and Remus had forgiven him. He knew he worried now because he could not guarantee that he would not find himself forgiving Sirius again.

---

Halloween came all too soon. Remus sat grading his almost complete pile of essays when he heard footsteps outside his office. Curious, and in dire need of a break from kappas (the topic of the essays he was currently grading) he stood up and walked to the door.

He was surprised to see Harry. Today was the Hogsmeade trip…_ McGonagall told me that Harry couldn't go._ The boy looked distracted, as though he didn't really know where he was going or what he was doing. Remus surprised himself as he said, "Harry?"

Harry turned around.

"What are you doing?" he asked curiously. "Where are Ron and Hermione?" _Stupid question,_ he thought. _Of course they're in Hogsmeade. _Another part of him responded, _Yes, but that wasn't too bad for a conversation starter. _Had Harry not been standing there, Remus would have rolled his eyes at his thoughts. He often found one part of him annoyed with the other half, rather like he had often found himself annoyed at his friends. He figured that part of him was very like them in a way that he would never understand.

"Hogsmeade," Harry said, trying to sound off-hand, as though he didn't care.

"Ah," Remus said looking at Harry. "Why don't you come in? I've just taken delivery of a grindylow for our next lesson." In fact, he had gotten the grindylow a couple days ago, but only Dumbledore and McGonagall knew that.

"A what?" Harry asked as he followed Remus into his office.

"Water demon," Remus said watching the grindylow for a moment. "We shouldn't have much difficulty with him, not after the kappas." He rambled on for a moment about the grindylow, thinking that he was now justified in teaching third years about basic dark creatures. Snape may have said he was going easy on them, but Harry had just proved that they didn't know that much about the dangerous, if easily dealt with, magical creatures.

"Cup of tea?" he asked suddenly as the grindylow buried itself in a tangle of weeds inside its tank. "I was just thinking of making one."

"All right," Harry said awkwardly, as Remus cursed silently. _Where is that stupid kettle? It has to be here somewhere—ah. There it is. Maybe I should consider cleaning this mess._ But Remus believed in organized clutter; it was a bad habit he had picked up from Peter.

Remus tapped the kettle with his wand and the water boiled. "Sit down," he told Harry as he took the lid off his rather dusty tin of tea. "I've only got teabags, I'm afraid—" he suddenly remembered what McGonagall had told him about Harry's tea leaves "—but I daresay you've had enough of tea leaves?"

He smiled as Harry looked at him, and his eyes twinkled mischievously.

"How do you know about that?" Harry asked.

"Professor McGonagall told me," he said, handing Harry a chipped mug of tea. "You're not worried, are you?" _Might as well find out if McGonagall was right and he is worried about those tea leaves,_ he thought.

"No," Harry said. But something on his face told Remus that it was the sort of "no" that James used to give when trying to get out of detention.

"Anything worrying you Harry?"

"No," Harry repeated in the same tone. He took a sip of tea and then said, "Yes." He put his tea down on Remus' desk. "You know that day we fought the boggart?"

_Now we're getting somewhere._ "Yes," Remus said slowly.

"Why didn't you let me fight it?"

Remusraised his eyebrows. _So that's part of it. I thought he would have figured that out. _

"I would have thought that was obvious, Harry," he said slightly surprised. Harry looked shocked that Remus had admitted to stopping him from fighting the boggart.

"Why?" he asked again.

"Well," Remus said, frowning slightly, "I assumed that if the boggart faced you, it would have assumed the shape of Lord Voldemort."

Harry stared at him. _I guess I misjudged him,_ Remus thought.

"Clearly, I was wrong," he said, still frowning. "But I didn't think it a good idea for Lord Voldemort to materialize in the staffroom. I imagined that people would panic."

"I didn't think of Voldemort," said Harry, surprising Remus. "I—I remembered those dementors."

"I see," Remus said thoughtfully. _I definitely misjudged him._ "Well, well… I'm impressed." He smiled at the look of surprise on Harry's face. "That suggests that what you fear most of all is—fear. Very wise, Harry."

Harry took another sip of tea and said nothing. Remus had forgotten all about his tea. The mention of the dementors reminded Remus of Harry's collapse and he was struck with a sudden thought.

"So you've been thinking that I didn't believe you capable of fighting the boggart?" he said shrewdly.

"Well… yeah." Harry's mood seemed to lift. "Professor Lupin, you know the dementors—" There was a sharp knock on the door. Remus sighed inwardly.

"Come in," he called.

Severus came in carrying today's dose of Wolfsbane. "Ah, Severus," Remus said, forcing himself to smile. "Thanks very much. Could you leave it here on the desk for me?" he added, hoping to get rid of Snape as soon as possible. Severus didn't seem too pleased to see Harry there, and Remus was sure he knew why. _Another reason to say I'm working with Sirius. He'll say I'm telling Harry about Sirius, trying to lower his guard or something… quite the opposite, in all actuality._

Snape was looking between Remus and Harry with a look in his eyes that Remus didn't like.

"I was just showing Harry my grindylow," he said, keeping his voice friendly as he pointed at the tank.

"Fascinating," said Snape, disinterestedly. "You should drink that directly, Lupin.

"Yes, yes, I will," Remus said, impatient for Severus to leave.

"I made an entire cauldronful," Snape added, "if you need more."

"I should probably take some again tomorrow. Thanks very much, Severus." He meant it as a dismissal, forgetting that Severus liked to have the last word.

"Not at all," the Potions master said, and Remus was certain that he didn't really mean that. Snape backed out of the room, as if he was trying to take as much time as possible in hopes that he would hear some of Remus and Harry's conversation.

Harry looked curiously at the goblet as soon as Snape had gone.

"Professor Snape has kindly concocted a potion for me," Remus said, smiling in hopes of covering the animosity that Snape had shown. "I have never been much of a potion-brewer and this one is particularly complex." _Which is unfortunately the truth._ He picked it up and sniffed it. "Pity sugar makes it useless," he added, more to himself than to Harry as he took a sip and shuddered at the taste.

"Why—" Harry began, but stopped. Remus looked up, wondering if he hadn't finished the question because he didn't want to be nosy. _James would have asked anyway,_ he thought.

"I've been feeling a bit off-color," he said, knowing as he said it how lame it sounded. Sirius had been the one who could tell very good lies off the top of his head. "This potion is the only thing that helps. I am very lucky to be working alongside Professor Snape; there aren't many wizards who are up to making it." The words left as bad a taste in his mouth as the next gulp of potion. He hated being dependant on Severus, even though he needed the Wolfsbane.

"Professor Snape's very interested in the Dark Arts," Harry said suddenly.

_And what has that gotto do with anything? _"Really?" Remus said, barely interested as he took another gulp of the awful potion.

"Some people reckon—" Harry hesitated, "some people reckon he'd do anything to get the Defense Against the Dark Arts job."

_Ah. But it's nothing I didn't already know. _Remus chose to finish the potion in one last, long gulp rather than say anything. He made a face.

"Disgusting," he said. "Well, Harry, I'd better get back to work. I'll see you at the feast later." He didn't want to lie any more than he had to, and to do that he had to head off anymore questions Harry could ask about the potion. _Trust Severus to time it most inconveniently_.

"Right," said Harry, putting down his teacup.

---

Remus sighed as he headed down to the feast. While he had learned a lot from Harry that afternoon, he knew that Severus' untimely arrival had made Harry curious, and he was sure to tell Ron and Hermione about it.

_What's the use in worrying? If they figure anything out—no, they can't. I didn't give him that much information. _

He sighed again, before taking a seat next to Flitwick, another of his old professors. Flitwick engaged him in a long conversation about a difficult charm, and Remus gladly accepted the distraction from his thoughts.

He watched the ghosts' performance at the end of the feastwith interest; they had never done that at any of the Halloween feasts he'd attended at school.

As the feast ended, Remus wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed, but he felt uneasy, and headed for his office to see if he had left anything undone. McGonagall intercepted him.

"Remus, something feels wrong. Did you notice it? You've always been extremely perceptive."

"I did happen to notice," he said. They began to make a quick check of the main parts of the castle. They were joined by Severus, to both Remus' and Severus' displeasure.

As the three reached the entrance to Gryffindor Tower, they saw a huge crowd of students and Dumbledore. The portrait of the Fat Lady that was the entrance to the Gryffindor common room had been viciously slashed, and the Fat Lady was gone.

"We need to find her," Dumbledore said, referring to the Fat Lady. "Professor McGonagall, please go to Mr. Filch at once and tell him to search every painting in the castle for the Fat Lady."

"You'll be lucky!" a cackling voice shouted. Remus wrinkled his nose. It was Peeves. _Of course he would be here. He loves destruction_.

Remus' stomach sank as Dumbledore questioned Peeves and the Poltergeist's voice became more cheerful. Somehow Remus knew what was coming even before Peeves said the attacker's name, but it still hit him hard to hear, in Peeves grinning voice, "Nasty temper he's got, that Sirius Black."


End file.
